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Santa and Banta jokes

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Santa and Banta Singh were bitter enemies.  Santa lived on the 1st and Banta on the 7th floor of the same building.  One day the lift was out of order and Banta Singh decided to play a trick on Santa and called him for dinner to his house at 7:30 pm. So Santa huffing and puffing manages to reach the 7th floor.  To his dismay he finds a big lock on the door and a message - 'HA HA ULLU BANA DIA!' Santa is angry but thinks a lot and finally writes his reply below Banta's message - 'MAIN TO YAHANAAYA  HI NAHIN THA!!'

Once Santa Singh broke his leg when he threw his cigarette butt down the manhole and tried to step Once Santa Singh broke his leg when he threw his cigarette butt down the manhole and tried to step on it. Santa Singh tried to light his cigarette.  He struck the first match on the seat of his pants, but it wouldn't light.  He tried another.  It wouldn't light.  The third one finally lit.  He lit his cigarette, carefully blew the match out and put it in his vest pocket."What for did you put that match in your vest pocket?"  "That's agood match.  I'll use it again."

Santa and Banta work in a software company.  One day, they were to move their m/cs to another   building.  Banta was having a tough timecarrying his machine.  Santa :  "My m/c has 500 MB disk. See how easily I am carrying it.  Yours has just 250 MB.  Can't you carry even this much?"  Banta :  "But yours is empty and my disk is  full"!!!

Santa Singh had his 4th child.  He fills the data in the birth-certificate:  Mother:  Sikh. Father:  Sikh.  Baby:  Chinese.  "How come you're   writing 'Chinese' when both parents are Sikh?",  asks the doctor.  Santa Singh replies, "I have read in a newspaper, that every 4th person born on the earth now is Chinese."

Singh and Banta Singh,  were great cricket fanatics.  They decided that whoever dies first will try to come back in the dreams of the other, and tell the other about the Cricket life in the heaven.  Santa Singh dies   first.  One day as Banta was fast sleep, he heard Santa calling him.  He was very happy and was eager to know about cricket there.  "So, Santa! How is cricket in heaven?"  Santa replied, "Hey Banta, I have good news and bad news.  The good news is that tomorrow we are going to have a day & night match here in heaven.  And the bad news is that you are the opening bowler for tommorrow's match!"

Santa Singh and Banta Singh were sitting on a tree and Santa Singh was singing a song.  After 4 songs Santa Singh hung himself upside downand started singing again. 
Banta Singh :  Santa Singh what is the matter with you?  Why are you hanging upside down? 
Santa Singh :  I am singing the B   side.

Santa Singh was brought to court on charges of drunken driving.  Just before the trial there was a commotion in the gallery.  The judge pounded the gravel on his table and shouted, "Order!  Order!"  Santa responded immediately, "Thank you , your honour!  I'll have a scotch and soda."

Santa Singh and Banta Singh were discussing how  they would like to die.  Santa said, "When I die,  I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did,  in his sleep.  I don't want to die screaming like  some of his friends, who also died at the same   time."  Banta asked, "How did his friends die screaming while your grandfather died sleeping peacefully?"  Santa Singh replied, "His friends were the passengers in the car he was driving."

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